listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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