woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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