What a fucking waste of an outfit
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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