So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
