Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
