I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
