Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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