You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
