so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
