That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
