I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need a beard to bite.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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