U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
