David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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