hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
