I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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