Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize