Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
