woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
