The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize