Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
