Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
