Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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