Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
