Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize