Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You pole danced in your parka.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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