this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
