im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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