FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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