i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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