bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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