a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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