it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
