You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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