HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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