So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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