I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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