ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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