I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
