I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
