i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
