So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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