Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
