Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
