My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
