Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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