Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
