I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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