Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
