Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
