I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
