It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
