If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
