In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
