and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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