I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
