I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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