My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
