this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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