Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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